A friend of Stephanie's committed suicide Sunday morning. I have never met him, but for some reason have felt an uneasiness today that I can't seem to shake.
I am around mentally ill people every day at work (indirectly). I have seen people with their wrists slit deep enough to require stitches, people with charcoal still seeping out of their mouth because they overdosed on who knows what and instead of having their stomach pumped, have to ingest this nasty stuff. A lady who was thisclose to hanging herself but was found by a loved one. I've seen people ages 6-82 experience difficult times that most of us can only imagine. I've been around this stuff. It's nothing new to me, so I'm unsure why I am so extremely unsettled by this young man's death. Maybe it's because he succeeded? He was only 23. It's just very tragic and I can't seem to wrap my brain around it or comprehend it. And I don't need to, I didn't know the guy, never met him in my life. It's not my business nor my duty to know the "whys" of it.
He probably had no idea how many people would be affected by his decision. Maybe he did. I don't know. This is strictly my opinion, but I just believe suicide is a selfish act. I feel like it's a permanent fix to what is typically a temporary and in most cases solvable situation. However, on the flip side, I can also understand that when a person is in the deepest and darkest of places, it often seems like there is no way out and no hope. Ugh. Just an all around sad story.
FYI: Here are some warning signs of suicide provided by SAVE:
- Talking about suicide.
- Looking for ways to die (internet searches for how to commit suicide, looking for guns, pills, etc.)
- Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness.
- Preoccupation with death.
- Suddenly happier, calmer.
- Loss of interest in things one cares about.
- Visiting or calling people one cares about.
- Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
- Giving things away, such as prized possessions.
If you pray, will you say a quick prayer for Kolby's family and friends? I can't imagine being in their shoes and having to deal with all of this.